The journey to pregnancy and/or motherhood is a simple complex journey. Simple, because the end goal is to simply become a mother, have a child to love, raise, and nurture. Complex, because the path to achieving this goal is not always simple, linear, or a one for all model.
The pregnancy journey or road to motherhood is one wrapped in a puzzle of beliefs, faith, science, desires, methods, and paths. There is no simple equation of A +B =baby/motherhood. Each situation is uniquely different. The perpetual ‘biological clock’, may tick-tock and alarm for many, but I question, is it set at any particular time to reproduce?
It is not always easy to talk about pregnancy and childbirth, or a desire to want to be a parent. At times, it may feel as if society judges you for each decision and choice, and it is never the ‘right’ choice. Yet, I question time and time again, is there 1 right choice, 1 right formula when it comes to becoming a parent?
My goal for writing this article is to begin a conversation to let every woman know and hopefully come to the realization: Their story, Their journey is Theirs’s. I hope every woman will take ownership of their process, and embrace their decisions, without feeling judged, guilty, embarrassed, or regretful. I desire that women will free themselves from others’ expectations related to if they should when they should and how many children they should have. I want every woman to walk in the knowledge that their life story is simply Amazing, because it is their story.
I have spent time with women at different stages of their lives. Each shared story is unique, yet, has many unifying similarities. Also, the same questions would surface repeatedly and were not specific to one age group. From ages 20 to 50, each conversation and situation would have the questions: should I? Why did I? Should I have done this instead of that? Consciously or subconscious these thoughts and questions seem woven into the very fabric of their being.
I have encountered single women in their 20s starting to build their life, focusing on careers, travel, experiences, and having adversity to all things related to children and pregnancy. I have met women in their 20’s, that are married and settled and living their best life and some that are single parents and doing an Amazing job! Even in this season of life, the questions surface – Should I start thinking about the future? I’m not ready- should I be? I am ready-but is this the right time? What will people say?
I have talked to women in their 30s who are navigating life without children and having children is not on the radar yet or at all. I have conversed with 30 year-olds who are starting their families. These women even secure in their decision, question: should I have started sooner? I’m not ready, yet; I’m hearing, “your eggs are not going to wait on you”, should I just do it?
When I meet with women in their 40s who are pregnant, I am greeted with their joy. They are thankful to be starting this journey for the first time or to be on it again. Sometimes, their shock meets me: How did this happen? Are you sure? On the other side of the coin, there are women in their 40s, who have regrets: I should have had more, I should have spaced my children differently, I missed my chance. There are always those questions: should I? Why did I? Should I have done this instead of that?
Society has shown us, by 50, your future is set at living your best life, filled with a career you are settled in or creating a new path, travel, relaxation, fun. The women in their 50s, I converse with are looking ahead, possibly to grandchildren, enjoying their children growing older, empty nest, and redesigning the life they want or thought they wanted. Yet, there are some 50-year-old women in the thick of parenthood with middle school and high school children. Sometimes, I meet these women who have reproductive guilt and those questions arise: should I? Why did I? Should I have done this instead of that? Surprisingly, I’ve even met a few pregnant 50-year women, navigating their life with grace, patience, and extra TLC.
There are women I know, desiring pregnancy, a baby, a family; and for reasons of infertility, timing, social, financial reasons, it hasn’t happened. I have even encountered women who have had those surprising blessing babies after 10 or more years after their last child. Each of these women has a unique story, took a different path, each situation unique to their own life choices and path in life. With each of these women, there is no one path to follow, and each reproductive choice; personally chosen or life happened, it’s uniquely theirs.
It is their journey.
The journey to becoming a mother is different for everyone. It can be long and grueling or short and sweet. It can be planned out perfectly, and you change your mind to another choice, and that is perfectly fine.
Your journey to motherhood is not always a linear path. At times, you may feel you are on a rollercoaster hanging on with eyes closed shut and your fists closed tight. However, it can also be a smooth sailing ride on a calm sunny day. Whatever your journey is: it is yours and you are Amazing!
We would love to hear your story. Sharing your journey let other women know, they are not alone. We want to celebrate and share the Amazing journey to pregnancy/motherhood.
We know it’s not always easy to talk about pregnancy and childbirth, or your journey, but we promise we’ll do our best to make you feel comfortable, and you are welcome to share anonymously. If you think that your story would be a good fit for this section, please email us at: email@example.com
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