Eric and I have always loved to have friendly debates. The most hotly discussed topic has been the use of social media in our relationship. The use of phones, tablets and laptops have become the roadblocks in our conversations and quality time.
My husband argues that I spend more time on Facebook then talking about my day. He feels the phone has become my new partner, my best friend and confidant. This has been brought up many times and I have made a conscious effort to put my phone down. I’ve set my phone down when I come home from work and many times cannot remember where I have left it. Despite this, Eric still feels some kind of way with the amount of time I spend on technology. So ultimately, it’s not just the use of Facebook, it’s the use of all technology in Eric’s mind.
I argue, excuse me, let’s say debate that I am on devices related to work, researching information for school or even ordering our groceries from #Kroger click list. In today’s culture, almost everything is done online. Is there a happy middle for being an active participant in the World Wide Web and having time for our marriage? At least in my husband’s eye?
Now, on the flip side, my husband my not be on social media as much as I am but he is on his phone texting or reading the newspaper. He’s looking at #MediaTakeOut, researching home improvements and listening to music. Is this really any different than my usage of the internet? I would say not, but for whatever reason my husband says yes. We can go back and forth, like right now as I’m sitting here typing this blog, he’s researching shower heads. Specifically oil rubbed shower body sprays.
Eric and I have been together since 1994. We have been through our ups and downs and have made it through together. We’ve actively changed how we perceive things and realize a relationship is made stronger when both partners know it is not a Disney fairytale. Compromise is required and if one partner always seems to get their way, the other one is probably slowing brewing on the inside. Everyone always says, “Happy Wife Happy Life,” but Eric tends to argue why can’t the husband be happy also? I will agree because I sure don’t want a grumpy husband. I asked him what’s wrong and he responded, “I’m a crab. Pinch. Pinch.” Need I say more?
So what is the compromise? Do we limit ourselves to 2 hours of screen time as we try to do with our kids? Do we pick certain days to be online? Or do we select a date night once a week to keep our relationship kindled and burning bright? Are there other couples who experience this phenomenon in their relationship? If so, have you done anything different?
As everything we’ve been through in the past, I’m sure we will find a solution to our Love and Technology; but any advice would be appreciated.
Kristine Walton ,RN, BSN
Wife/Mother of 5/Registered Nurse
Contact Kristine @
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